ADHD is a part of my identity, a big part of my identity. For years now I’ve chosen and blogged about One Little Word/One Word each year in hopes of conquering my ADHD by appreciating life’s moments/seeking the sacred, finding balance, aligning my priorities (1 & 2) and becoming more deliberate. Originally, I began my blog, Meandering Maya, to help me meander and make sense of life as well as to live a writerly life as a language arts teacher.
Meandering is part of my ADHD identity, but it has consumed and controlled me for much of my life. My meandering has meaning, but results in me veering of course and losing direction; thus, meandering can no longer my mission if I truly want to control my ADHD and all aspects of my life.
My mission as a blogger is evolving. I want to spend the next year blogging in order to channel and control my focus through the following:
- I am going to own and acknowledge who I am as a woman, teacher, mom, and wife with ADHD.
- I am going to seek clarity as I try to make my mind work for me instead of against me.
- I am going to develop and sustain systems that will free me from being consumed by chaos, clutter, and confusion.
Over the past few years, I have learned that there is much good in who I am as an adult woman with ADHD (passionate, driven, resourceful, evolving, introspective, conceptual to name a few), but finding and harnessing the good is a continuous challenge because my mind is wired differently and because I am distracted by all things bright and shiny and because I love chasing rabbits. When I try to “fix” who I am by applying the methodology of others, I often find myself falling short of my own expectations because the people who make methodology are wired very differently than I am. ADHD people are normally not the people writing books and creating programs about organizing and planning and finding balance.
I’ve been reflecting on the last several years of my words of each year, wondering what has been standing in the way of the level of progress and growth I’m seeking. Seeking the advice of a friend/former boss who has tried to understand my meandering ADHD mind, I asked him for a one-word suggestion that might help me find the missing link–what would come before prioritization because I have no idea how to prioritize?
His suggestion, CLARITY, intrigued me and inspired me to hyper-focus on clarity as the missing link. Hyper-focusing works while on vacation because it doesn’t get in the way of all that needs to be done. Usually my rabbit hunts lead to wasted time; however, this rabbit hunt yielded a bounty of vision and insight. More than that, though, this bounty will help me take the steps I need to take to truly move forward.
Watching a Tony Robbins video provided clarity as well as a catalyst for shifting my perspective. Tony Robbins gives 3 pillars for finding clarity:
- Get focused and clear.
- Get the best: the best tools, the best map, and the best mentor.
- Resolve inner conflicts.
My quest continued as I tried to find the right tools, map, and mentor. Tony Robbins explains,
It’s wonderful that you’re focused, clear, and excited, but if you’re running east looking for a sunset, you’ve got a problem. I don’t care what you believe or what enthusiasm you have. If you have the wrong tools, and you’ve got the wrong strategy. Then, you have the wrong map. You need to have a mentor. It’s very critical in life that you have a map and a mentor. The map very often changes. The best mentor–somebody who is the best at what they do–they know the shortcuts, they know when the road changes you don’t get stuck hanging out in the desert when you’re trying to get to the ocean, you know metaphorically. Who’s got the best tools?
Who’s got the best tools? A compelling question that I am seeking to answer. Yes, in my hyper-focused ADHD quest, I finally googled clarity and ADHD. Eventually, I found myself reading a website and eventually listening to an ADHD coach Dana Rayburn break down and provide advice on time management in a way that actually makes sense to me. I’m looking forward to trying this out–the three Ps: overcoming procrastination, developing and assessing priorities, and systematically planning daily and weekly.
Wow! Finally, a person like me telling me how to get organized and manage time as well as speaking asides of encouragement and accountability. As a person with ADHD, Dana Rayburn knows how to talk to me, and her mission is clear–she wants to help 10,000 people put their ADHD in the passenger seat. I want to be one of those 10,000.
ADHD will always ride the road with me, but my goal is to put my ADHD in the passenger seat. Instead of letting the negative aspects of ADHD dominate me as the driving force of my world, I am grabbing the wheel and relegating my ADHD to its rightful role as the passenger. Move over ADHD–I’m grabbing the wheel.
Tony Robbins, thank you for helping me realize that my mentor needs to be like-minded.
Dana Rayburn, I’ve decided for now you’re my new mentor because your tools make sense and your roadmap seems clear. Before the year is over, I may find I need more tools from you. If money were not a factor, I would join your Success Club or sign up for private coaching in order to streamline the process of transforming chaos and clutter to clarity and order. For now, though, I’m going to begin by implementing your time management system. Thanks so much for the free audio, the weekly newsletter, and the other resources. I have a new sense of clarity and am inspired as I embark on this journey seeking to be the driver, not the passenger.